friendships

Today I was doing a lot of thinking about friendships, and I came to the conclusion that they are hard. They are wonderful (don't get me wrong), but let's be honest they take work. Other than just the work required in maintaining a relationship, there's also the fact that friends will hurt your feelings/forget about you/etc. or you may have to watch them make bad decisions (which is also hard to do). You know you all have a friend who has to learn via the school of hard knocks instead of just heeding advice. That can be one of the most heartbreaking things, knowing that they don't have to be in the position they are in.. they are choosing to be there.

I was just talking to God about this and wondering why we were built wanting relationships with people even though we know that they will let us down. He reminded me that our deepest desire is for a relationship for a perfect Savior who will never fail us. But another thing that He spoke about was the fact that just like our friends hurt our feelings, I've hurt His feelings. I have decided that other things are more important, or decided that I'd rather talk to other friends. You know when you see some of you friends post facebook pictures of some fun time and realize that you weren't invited... remember that feeling? We do that to God all the time. Sometimes your friends didn't mean to neglect you, they just forgot to call. A lot of times we don't mean to neglect God, He just becomes an afterthought. ouch.

See with our relationships with our friends, it's man being friends with man. They are both fallen beings, and they are both going to fail each other. In most friendships, it ends up evening out. God never fails us and never will. We just abuse him. Take that in. Remember how it feels to be forgotten. Realize that God has feelings too.

Now take a moment and remember grace. Accept his grace and mercy and love for us regardless of our actions. This was just a good thing for me to remember today. I oftentimes forget that God has a heart too and feels things... which is a not good place to be in.

FCA tonight...

Matt Rogers brought us the word tonight based on "why do bad things happen to good people?"

First of all, this is the wrong question. This question is man-centered, therefore the answer is man-centered.... FAIL. Without the answer being God-centered, we are not destined to succeed. This question is also saying that God gives out blessings and hard circumstances based on our performance. That is a scary thought. We fail so much more than we succeed. If we were to ask this question properly we must say, "Why do good things happen to bad people?" The fact that we are still living is evidence of God's grace.

Suffering has nothing to do with you. It's about God. Life has nothing to do with you. It's about God.

In John 9, we read the story about Jesus healing the blind man at the pool at Siloam. The disciples ask Jesus why the man is blind. They think it was based on his sins or the sins of his forefathers. (That is a common view of the day.) Jesus responds, "Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." SO THAT... there is purpose in our suffering. Now, we are not always promised to see the reason we are suffering, because again... it's not about us.

Another cool part about this story is the fact that Jesus stooped down, spit on the ground, and made clay to put on this man's eyes. He met the man where he was. He saw the blind man in his brokenness, in his blindness, and came to him. How often do we meet people where they are in their time of need and time of hurting? I am not talking about a mission trip or a small group project, or a youth service day. I am speaking of walking out of class and seeing someone hurting, and reaching out in compassion and meeting them where they are. Sometimes the reason that we suffer might be so that we can feel compassion for others who are suffering. We just don't know, but we do know that God knows. We serve an all-knowing God who loves us deeply, personally, and passionately. He is what we seek: not our circumstances, not comfort, not happiness. We seek Him. Although our trials come and people and situations fail us, He NEVER will. Isn't He great?

reason for troubles

I have found that the reason for a lot of my troubles is the fact that I doubt God is who He says He is. You may think, wow, Kayla, that's horrible, but listen and hopefully you'll relate too.

When I am anxious about my future, I am not believing Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." I am not believing that my Father wants to give me good things; I am not believing Matthew 7:9-11 "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

Most insecurities I have (and probably you too) stem from the fact that I am not finding myself in my Father's eyes and delighting in what He thinks of me. I spend too much time listening to my thoughts and not enough time telling myself truth.

Living and existing should not be a passive process but an active process. We are allowed to relax in Christ and relish in His beauty, but we are also told to "demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." This requires deliberate thinking. This is an aspiration of mine, and you should consider it, too.

new blog

So, I decided to start a blog. I haven't told anyone about it, so let's see how this goes. I am not sure what I will put on here, but I'd like to have the option. Anyways, let's begin the journey together.